just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
