Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
