with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
