how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
