You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
