i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
