I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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