this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Bring me that man meat
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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