when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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