no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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