hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
