Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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