i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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