Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
where are you?
Hypothermia
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
