They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
