oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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