im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you still have your period?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
worst night to have a conscience
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
