Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Come on in and take your pants off
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