Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
