Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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