I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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