Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
