**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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