There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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