We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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