Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
