Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
