If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
