I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
