is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
