it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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