Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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