i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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