ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
