Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
