Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
