Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
