im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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