and you said cock pushups were impossible
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
