He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
