I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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