im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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