i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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