I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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