Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
