I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
