I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
pray to the hookup gods
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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