How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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