John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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