she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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